Growing old with this man will forever be one of the greatest blessings in my life. And while there are a few more wrinkles we both are sporting these days, we are still just those two crazy-in-love dreamers building the life we have always envisioned for ourselves and for our family.
What an adventure it has been.
In honor of this one’s birthday tomorrow, he is sharing forty lessons that he is learned in his forty years. Hope you enjoy these!
Financially or any other way. Don’t wait in growing a family. It will be the greatest blessing of your life.
Make it grass-fed and make it a lot.
Your wife has been working just as hard as you. Be a partner. Help get dinner on the table. Throw the ball around with the kids. Your family should see you actively participating in all areas. And trust me, the winding down that happens when you go to bed is way better.
Bring every decision, every struggle, and every thought to Him. It will be the guidance and peace of mind you need every time.
There will be a season in life where you come home and the house will be a mess, she’ll be in sweats and have no clue what dinner is going to be, but the baby is asleep. Tell her how great she did and go grab take-out.
Stop putting things off because you are waiting for the right time or for a plan to be perfectly laid out. Life is happening now. Make the leap, go after the thing you constantly talk about, and let your kids see you and your wife take chances. You will never regret it.
Actions speak louder every time.
Something I wish I had done far sooner.
Don’t give her a hard time about it. Don’t throw a fit over what she wants you to wear. And don’t complain about the cost if there is one. Be a man about it.
It’s just something a man should know how to do and know how to do well.
Yes, it will take longer to do everything, but it’s your job and an important one.
You need a partner and one that will make you a better man every day. Stop with the checklist. You both can go after it all together.
When Mom is gone and you are in charge of dinner, you are capable of more than a pizza. Gather the kids and make it a fun night in the kitchen altogether. They will never forget it.
Your wife and your kids need to see you leading. But when it comes to the home, how it is run, and even how it looks? Let her do her thing.
Be confident and know what you want, but don’t be an egotistical a**hole in how you do it.
There will be seasons when things might be hard. And it will test you and your bride. Don’t allow that stress to detract from all of the good that is still happening. The season will eventually end. They always do.
The years go by quicker than you think.
By your example, your kids will develop a great respect for their mother and in turn, create a home of peace and harmony.
Especially if she did the cooking. But still, just do the dishes.
You will enjoy way more honey, trust me.
Trust me on this one.
Your wife has goals and aspirations just like you do. When she gets a big idea or something she wants to go for, get behind her 100%. A woman who feels supported in the things that she is passionate about is a force of energy that is nothing less than inspiring. And that is a blessing to everyone around her.
You are not above this type of work and service in your home and to your family. Knock it off.
Age gracefully. Don’t complain about the things that change. We earn those changes.
Don’t talk about what you can’t afford. It’s only about what you “choose” not to afford. That scarcity mindset will stunt your growth all day every day.
Don’t ever stop finding those moments to remind her what it feels like to be a woman, no matter how old you both are.
Don’t sit and watch your kids play. Go play.
From the moment you say “I do” don’t ever forget that she is your number one priority. She comes before anyone else in your life, even yourself.
When they are little, don’t baby talk to them. When they are older, make sure that you handle conversations and discussions in a calm and approachable way. They will be more inclined to come to you about the things you want them to.
From the beginning of time, we as men have been providers and protectors. That’s our role. Things happen all the time that put people in situations of major struggle (natural disasters, water plant mishaps, etc). Stop assuming that being prepared is about being fearful. It’s literally in the job description.
Even if it’s to go pick kids up from practice, open her door. Your sons are watching and need to see how it’s done for later in life. Your daughters are watching and need to see what they deserve for later in life.
There will be days when she needs to hear it. There will be days when she won’t believe it. Tell her every single day.
Then go and teach your daughters to do the same.
But don’t make her watch yours.
And let her see you make the plans.
Don’t ever let them see you sitting while they are playing. Get dirty with them, get on the floor with them. Make sure they know that their dad is present.
Yes, there will be messes. And yes, you will be taking it out at 4:30 AM in the morning. But your kids will love that thing.
You both bought the car. Stop acting as if what you bring to the table is because of you and you alone. You have an entire support system at home that is allowing you to do what it is you do.
A very happy birthday to the Bearded Gent. Making forty look good already!
The Bearded Gent