No one prepared me for it.

I can remember, for the most part, each day so clearly that we found ourselves in the hospital ready to give birth to each of our four children. The first time was when I was 21 years old. Just a baby myself and I was having one. We had no savings, we had no idea what the future looked like – heck, we didn’t even know what the next year looked like, but there we were. Bringing a life into the world that we would have to take care of, nurture, teach and mold into a member of society. To be honest that’s not what hit me when I looked into the eyes of our first baby, let alone the the three that followed after. I wasn’t thinking years ahead, but days. I was thinking about that moment, right then and there. That our baby was healthy, that I had survived the entire ordeal and that we were going home to be a family.

People would ask me in the beginning “can you believe that you have a baby now?”…. or exclaim “oh my goodness, you are a mother now!”…. and then it turned into …“you have four now!”… and even if they were farther along in life than me, no one prepared me for it. I felt comfortable in my skin as a mother. Nothing seemed too hard to handle in regards to now having these little beings in constant need of my attention. It’s just who I was meant to be in life and I felt more and more like myself every day, but no one prepared me for the rest of it.

So there is this baby and it’s a 24/7 job. And then you add another, and then maybe another and if you are like us, another one. And you have this house full of little ones and you are navigating the waters of sleep patterns and schedules, feeding times, personalities and ways of discipline, injuries, bumps and bruises. Then there is the learning and school thing, homework shows up in your life again and then it’s about needs verse wants, and then it’s about friends and dealing with other parents and their way of doing things, and then it’s about teaching manners, and having family dinners at the table without devices and with “four on the floor” and chewing with mouths closed. And it’s well checks and dental visits and it’s a whole lot of emotion and toddler fits and maybe even some parent fits here and there. Then there are the errands, and babies in your bed, and bed wetting, and oh the mountains of laundry, and a whole bunch of hugs, kisses and ‘I love you’s’ mixed in, and around and throughout all of that stuff. All of that life.

But no one prepared me for IT.

No one prepared me for the hardship it would be to be an ordinary parent to extraordinary children. No one prepared me for the immeasurable amount of love I would have for these four tiny humans and wrapped in that love are some of the deepest fears I have ever and will ever experience in my lifetime. No one prepared me for a love so intense that I can be brought to tears in an instant and no one prepared me for the depth of admiration I would feel towards them each time they succeed in both the big and small ways. Or the sheer addiction I have in seeing them discover something new, or reveal yet another talent, or struggle with something and finally making it over the metaphorical hurdle. No one prepared me for the nights I lie awake with self-doubt – am I good enough? Am I teaching them the things they need? Am I leading by example? Am I there for them enough? No one prepared me for these brilliant minds that would surround me, watching my every move and, without even knowing it, are waiting for me to do something extraordinary. To show them how to be extraordinary. At the end of the day, however, they are teaching me how to be extraordinary. It is in their innocent ability to accept and love everyone, in the way they relish in the simplest of moments and laugh endlessly when something makes them happy.

No one prepared me for any of it.

So here I stand. Surrounded by these four beautiful spirits – each with their own unique design and extraordinary gifts – who stand with me in the every day. Who bring me to tears of joy consistently. Who take my breath away constantly. Who bring me to my knees daily asking, pleading and praying that I am everything they need me to be for them. Motherhood is the quickest way to discover your short comings and heaven knows I have my fair share. The list is long, but perhaps it’s not about that. Motherhood is where I have found myself even through the short comings. Even in my ordinary self. Either way and however we find ourselves navigating this life, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that this was my journey to take. And being blessed enough to be their mother is a gift beyond measure. Being ordinary in the presence of these extraordinary children has changed me in ways that I never could have imagined. And what a sweet and absolutely life changing journey it has and will continue to be.