You wait. Nine long months while this little one grows inside of you. Every kick, every hiccup, every back ache and every sleepless night. You wait. Wondering what she will look like, what your bond will be like, what life will be like. And then you wait. Painful, grueling hours while your body goes through the most beautiful and natural thing it knows how to do. And she’s in your arms.
And then you wait. You wait for her to sleep through the night. You wait for her to hold her head up, to roll over, to look you in the eye and smile. That very first time when your eyes lock is something that should be bottled up to enjoy time and time again as if it just happened moments ago. Even when you are old and grey. Your heart swells and you feel a connection and bond with her in it’s most intense and pure form. It touches you in the deepest parts and lights the darkest corners within you.
And then you wait. You wait for her to take her first steps. You wait for her to fall asleep for a nap. You wait for her to try all of the food on her plate. You wait for her to fall asleep while you sing to her at night.
And then you wait. You wait for her to dress herself. You wait for her to attempt at tying shoes even though she is years from mastering it. You wait for her to decide which cup she wants, which piece of your jewelry will be her choice for the day, which toy she wants for her afternoon bath, which stuffed animal she takes to bed and which story she wants you to read while she drifts to sleep. You wait for her to learn her limits. You wait for the tears to stop when she falls down. You wait for her to ask for your help while you patiently watch as she discovers and learns all that life has put in front of her.
And then you wait. You wait for her confidence to grow. For her fears to not control her. For her anxiousness to lessen. For her to understand that she is bursting with gifts that she has yet to discover and share with the world around her.
The patience of a mother knows no bounds and can be tested against any rigorous time table she and life have. We watch. We wait. We support unconditionally. With a soft guiding hand, we follow behind her as she grows. And we wait even more. We wait for her to need us. To want us. To let us hold and comfort. And it’s in the in-between that we get to witness her live life, we get to witness her sweet innocence in learning something new, to rejoice with her when her happiness beams from her face and her laughter floats like a melody in the air.
The waiting will continue for years to come and I have yet to discover all of it. I can say, though, that it is well beyond worth the ache of waiting. To see all that she is now and all that she will become. The honor of waiting and watching is one that has shown me a life so full of love it leaves me breathless. The patience of a mother is one of the sweetest virtues and to experience it I will never be the same.
So here’s to waiting…